Humbling beauty and nuclear war

It's quite a humbling feeling, really.

Despite all of his wit, height, rugby playing talent, rugged features and writing ability, The Board is as about as popular with Limerick's most beautiful women as a Taepodong-2 is with the boat people of the Japanese seas.

But he's a recalcitrant sort. He continues on in blind hope.

Miss Limerick 2009 was launched last night by local fashion and model leviathan Celia Holman-Lee, and The Board is pleased.

Last year he defied all of the rumour, circumstance and probability in predicting that Lydia Turley (below) would win the 2008 crown.

I think you'll agree that she's probably related to Helen of Troy.

The pressure is on, therefore, to prove that '08 wasn't just another of the haphazard flukes that The Board lives by. Who then will win The Chalkboard's second annual Miss Object of Salubrious Affection Award? Will that be followed by the far more tangible, desirable crown of Miss Limerick 2009?

Just like a border guard along the 38th parallel, The Board is fidgeting with anticipation at the battle to come.