If Napoleon had a website, it would probably contain a tag line as forthright as richardbruton.net.
Richard Bruton KNOWS WHAT MUST BE DONE, you see. He's obviously been planning this for a while.
Fine Gael have never done the whole putsch thing with as much saucy endeavour as the soldiers of destiny. Back when Haughey and Reynolds were carving at each other with limp handshakes and character buzzsaws, politics seemed so much more simple.
This recent era of gravy trains and communal glee and a power teet big enough for everyone to have a nibble dulled the appetite for revolution.
Where's the fun in that?
We vote you into this life of power and privilege at our expense. The least you can do is entertain us with blood sport.
The Board, for one, welcomes Napoleon's decision to have a shot at the title, as Enda Kenny was fashioned from Dutch clogs but without the rhythm and animation.
Hopefully there'll be explosions and death and a realisation that the public do not like Enda and the cinematic input of Michael Bay and possibly a cameo by Martin Lawrence.
Well, maybe we can do without Michael Bay.
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