Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Lest we forget

Does anyone here remember Grease 2?

The Board can appreciate if that question draws nothing but forlorn silence. It was, after all, a painful homage of the sort of 50s retro-camp that kept alive the abhorrent 'diner' culture of middle America, something which we Irish have come to know through expensive, poorly cleaned Eddie Rocket's outlets.


I ask because one of the main story strands - or at least what little of the story I could make out from the bootleg copy The Board's sister rented from the musky video shop on Meads Lane in Ilford 'back in the day' - involved a shy, well spoken English exchange student whose syllables were stretched out unbearably in that horrible, Etonian way.

Our hero died in a horrible motorcycle stunt, or so we thought, only for him to return in a fireball of victory at the end, perhaps, just in time to have relations with Michelle Pfieffer outside of wedlock.

Like that pompous protagonist, The Board also has a penchant for English accents and random acts of disappearing.

Technically, I should say that I have been on holidays for two weeks. However this would be a liberal misuse of the word. 'Holiday' for a 24-year-old male implies exotic punch bowls, foreign sands, promiscuous blondes, house music and a general process of 'larging it'.

For The Board to admit that he spent two weeks watching Peep Show and failing to finish 'The Bonfire of the Vanities' would be too much.

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