Monday, March 23, 2009

The boy with the thorn in his side

The cosmic truth is finally upon us. Stephen Jones, rugby correspondent with the Sunday Times, is insane.

Having read his British and Irish Lions selection, which includes only two Irishmen (who aren't Paul O'Connell and Brian O'Driscoll, by the way), his madness can no longer be disputed.

As a nation we must ask ourselves some pertinent questions. Growing up in Newport, was Jones bullied in primary school by an Irish child? Perhaps his first car was stolen by an Irishman, drenched in green paint, driven to Cardiff and thrown into the River Taff?

His utter dislike of the Irish and his blindness to the talents of our rugby players can only come from some hidden well of childhood grief.
The Board has another theory. Stand up and Fight, the editor of the Limerick Leader, once worked with Jones at the Times. Perhaps it was he, through some grievance of water coolers or red biro scarcity, who created this Welshman's bitterness towards the glory of our land.

If you, too, are fed up of being turned into a molten pot of rage every Sunday morning, feel free to direct your anger to

Consider it an exercise in anger management.
P.S. The Board has thrown down the gauntlet to The Hogespot, who claims to know something about rugby because he can throw a tyre around Kilballyowen, to pick a Lions XV.
The criteria, crucially, is not to pick a Home Nations XV a la Championship Manager. The team must be one that can deal with the speedy South African backs, their lumberjack pack, and the High Veld.
The man who has the most correct selections come the first test is to reward the other with a mountain of gold bullion and the keys to a brand new, pre-owned Daewoo Matiz.
I'm excited already.
1. Alastair Dickinson (Scotland)
2. Rory Best (Ireland)
3. Euan Murray (Scotland)
4. Paul O'Connell (Ireland, captain)
5. Alun Wyn-Jones (Wales)
6. Ryan Jones (Wales)
7. David Wallace (Ireland)
8. Jamie Heaslip (Ireland)
9. Dwayne Peel (Wales)
10. Stephen Jones (Wales)
11. Shane Williams (Wales)
12. Riki Flutey (England)
13. Brian O'Driscoll (Ireland)
14. Luke Fitzgerald (Ireland)
15. Lee Byrne (Wales)
Have at thee, Hogan.

No comments: